Lukas Neville

Thanks for taking part in our study!

Stephanie and I are interested to learn about how coworkers respond when they see someone forgiving a workplace transgression.

The reason we’re studying this is because we know that people often feel forgiveness aversion — they’re reluctant to respond forgivingly to mistreatment because they worry it’s risky. One source of risk is that your coworkers will respond poorly, see you in a negative light, or disagree with your choice.

In a previous study, we found that forgiving didn’t lead to negative impressions — in fact, it led to positive impressions. People were more trusting of forgiving victims. But in another study, we found some complicated dynamics: When people were forgiving but only after seeking justice, their coworkers had mixed feelings: They tended to trust them more, as a rule, but they also thought of them as active participants in the conflict versus victims of mistreatment.

In this study, we’re looking at this question a different way, and asking:

Does forgiving mistreatment get seen as a sign of self-control?

Previous research shows that forgiveness does require self-control. But if others see it as a signal of self-control, that might explain why they’re more willing to trust forgiving victims. One of the first questions we ask ourselves when deciding to trust is whether that person can be counted on to behave predictably and consistently with their promises. Those with high self-control could be seen as safer people to trust — and their choice to forgive mistreatment could signal their self control.

If we’re right, our next steps will be to look at how other parts of the response to mistreatment (like various approaches to punishment, amends, or justice-seeking) also serves to give a signal as to people’s self-control. Our expectation is that there are some forms of justice (like restorative justice) that require a great deal of self-control, while others (retributive justice) don’t require any.

And if we’re right, there are implications for how you manage workplace relationships. You might not need to worry about being seen as weak for forgiving, as long as your forgiveness (and your other behaviour after the conflict or mistreatment) shows your ability to exercise restraint and self-control in stressful situations.

Of course, all of this is currently just our own speculation and theorizing. Once our results are in and have been analyzed, we’d be happy to share with you what we’ve found.

If you’d like to get an update once our research is complete, please fill out the form below (it will not be connected in any way with your responses to the survey, and you can still receive the results even if you chose to withdraw from the study).